[England] The last snippest of life

The place we stayed in Hatfield has a outlet mall (Galleria) within 10minutes walking distance.This outlet mall has a big range of branded stores, from Laura Ashley to FCUK, it was a pity that I´m not going to settle in UK, where I could get every single piece of furniture from Laura Ashley outlet store and transform my tedious room into a lovely vintage style.

Anyway, I´m moving back to my lovely home in Malaysia, I can´t ship Laura Ashley back. I leave it for my child(ren), they will do the job for me.

Back to the reality, I got something reasonable to save my crackled, sore feet. I have never done anything on top of this problem, until the day in Germany, it got so serious that my whole feet cracked even my toes cracked. Plus the non-stop walking tour, the soreness was inexplicable.

I was lucky enough to pack a sample size Mavala foot gel into my cosmetic purse, I rubbed it to my feet, it was amazingly refreshing, curing my soreness in a night, and it dry in second that I could walk on carpet without stickiness or adhering dirt to my feet.

However, my feet cracked so serious that using only foot gel has merely no effect on it.



As soon as we back from the first trip, we went to the outlet mall I bought a normal size of Mavala foot gel and a hard skin remover. After 2-3times hard skin removal, and various times of foot gel and lotion application, it resume a smooth texture. With a pair of smooth feet, I dare to use  it to smooth my partner hair, and play a silly phone game with him (shaking my foot right beside his ear and ask him to pick it up, XDDDDD)!!

I though I would post some culinary work on my last page of UK life, but shopping filled our time, and cooking was aimed to clear our stock, so it wasn´t that yummy.I´m looking forward to my new page of life in Malaysia now, so kicking the old UK life away with my foot gel post!

[England] The second last snippet of life in England

I'm not a sweet fans, seriously,

though I heart dessert especially cakes and chocolate,
but I hate dangerously sweet tasting food like those american dessert.
I'm totally aware of sweet food and drink,

 I don't drink sugary drink in my past 5years of life,
I got rid of chips and ice cream; I did exercise and I slept before 10pm.

Now I have to confess, whenever I be in UK,

I can't live without these terrible sweet,
I eat it when I feel cold, sad, happy, depress, excited, hungry or full, means
I must have it anytime in anywhere, and so leading a fatty life.

You don't feel guilty as Kinder Bueno was having a big sale 3 packs for 1pound,
250g Hagendaaz was selling at 1 pound, and Walkers (as in Lay's) was 2 for 2(pound),
you will regret if you don't put it into your basket.

I'll never ever make this kind of mistake,

so I was creating a bulk volume in my basket
as well as my and partner's tummy.

We're happy crunching and munching on them,
they make our UK life, and for god's sake we are helping UK's economy crisis.

No worry, no matter how heavy we are, our flight would never charge on your extra weight.
Once we get off the flight, the weather in Malaysia will naturally trim our fat,
there we are, the Malaysia us.

So why waste the big fat chance of stocking luxury dessert?!

Chinese new year in Malaysia

I bought my flight ticket 6days ago, everything was happened out of sudden,
the infection/allergy thingy plus the tedious work I have in the past few weeks,
lurched my stomach and force myself to give myself a break.

Maybe I've had terrible homesick that I can't tell.

Anyway, those factors lead to a good ending, that I'm flying back to Malaysia.
Though I might lose my job, the most scarry consequances of losing  my job is
waving away my LV, GUCCI, BURBERRY and Egypt trip. At this stage,
I've overcome the money problem, mean I've accepted the fact of
being able to travel to 9 countries without buying any branded bag,
still it would be a marvallous trip whenever I have my beloved one
going with me.

Since the day I bought my ticket, I've been hallucinating all the events I would
participate, food I would eat and song I would listen in my mom's car.
I am over the moon with all the forthcoming events in Malaysia,
and the most exciting thing is my dearest one is going with me, HURRAY!!

I'd brought my D60 with me so I could capture something or food while
having holidays at home, I reaaly can't stop myself from wailing and laughing!

stop here, cause I really can't put my feeling into word anymore,
and I have to watch movie and wait for my flight.. heheheh!!

Snippest of life

Working in a restaurant mean you don't have day off on most of the BIG day.

I was working on both Christmas and new year eve. But I managed to
have an early celebration, travel down to London to catch a snapshot
of Christmas lighting in London city center and funfair in Leicester Square.
We spent half day sitting in a Chinese restaurant to read some gossip magazine
and savour the authentic chinese food, it was so relaxing and the life
that I used to have in Malaysia come into my mind.



I played tantrum whenever I was being aside when he having fun with his camera,
so making me obsess in photographing is brilliant. I did some shooting at that night,
cause he festooned photographing in such a charming way.


At that night my hand was being hold in his, we walked into the crowd,
we're promised to make our way back to London again for theatre.


The day after new year eve, we again stepped into London city,
we're expecting a great theatre and lunch. We move from booth to booth,
to check for the lowest price for Sister's act's ticket, and finally get it at
39.5pound, we weren't sure if it is the cheapest but anticipate that it couldn't be
any cheaper. We paid the tickets and we get into a cozy dinky japanese restaurant,
we had a great eel's rice, assorted of sushi and tempura ika.

Our tiny table was joined with another table, resulting a small movement room,
though the food was divine, I couldn't help myself to feel I was dining in a busy canteen.
After filled ourself with all those delicious meal, we bought some sushi from
Japan center then plonked ourself in the next door "IT'SU" restaurant,
again, it's a japanese light food restaurant, we found it warm, comfort
and suitable for a pre-pre-tea for Theatre. We had some tea and
special made juices there to go with our sushi and gossip magazine.
(I've never found that HK gossip magazine is such a mind-relaxing magazine)

You'd gasp in horror that our next activity after pre-theatre tea was dinner,
but indeed, we had our dinner after tea and before heading to theatre.

It was drizzling, when we stepped out of the restaurant. We strode toward
the theatre with a map on hand. After settled down on our seat, we started shooting
some picture in memory of our very first theatre experience in UK.
It was so amazing, we realised we'd far under-estimated their performances,
background and every single detail of them.

You can't imagine if you'd never been here. The automation of the backgrounds,
the specifically made backround for every scence and shopisticated prop that
utilised, they all amazed me. We're glad that we had the chance to experience
all this in our lifetime, and we're happy that we're together at every special moment.

We took a train home with smile hanging on face, the happiness deep inside us,
couldn't fade over in days.

Massive passion on working

Based on the title, I might have confused people that I've gotten
a great job in my own field, but it is a waitressing job in one of the
buffet restaurant own by BBI (British bornt Indian) brothers.

My mom was always hoping her daugther to study hard and more,
so they would be able to live independently in the future. "You have
to study hard to get a high pay yet flexible job office job otherwise,
you'll end up standing in the shopping mall for whole day long
resulting a bad looking calf (as a sale/promoter) and marry a bad
 husband." she advised me. I knew she tried to exagerate it to
aware me from being laziness, but it is just a way irony that
I'm now working as a waitress.

Working in an environment filled with world cuisine is much better
than in a old folk boutique (my ex-job), although it is tiring and busy,
still I enjoy more than in the boutique (which allow me to access to
facebook most of the time). I can slot into the time gap and make
a little conversation with people from different world, regarding
the life event (food, movie, living); where the conversation in a boutique
could only link to cloth, accesories, shoes..which was boring for me,
as I have a low vacabulary pool in my mind that can apply in my sentence.

Another thing that make myself passion in my work, is the tips given
after they finished, plus a soft goodbye kiss from some big eyes baby.
The remaining part of the life in restaurant coudn't be described
in much nicer way than terrible.

I've 2 main bosses and 2 minor boss and another manager,
I've to get myself prepared for the command given by any of them,
it would be lovely if they had discussed how should everything work
before gave command in unison, so I always do another duty
in the midst of serving customer/polish cutlery/handling food from kitchen.
Some time change the position of cutlery for more than 3 times a day
to fulfilled all my bosses. I'm working for 5 of them but receiving a pay.
It is fair enough as they're sharing one restaurant, though they
tripled or sometimes quadrupled my workload.
 
I believe in KARMA, all of the goodness that I get at the end will
enable me to travel around europe, getting a branded bag and
a new laptop (maybe?). I was getting so excited everytime listening
to the foreign folk song in the restaurant, which remind me the divine
time I had in Greece then realise I'm working for my dream,
again I melt into a big sweet smile to all the "God" in the restaurant,
who partially contritbute to my future trip.

Off to Malaysia Embassy in London

I had spent a minute on deciding the title, where it should be
day in Malaysia embassy or day in London. In fact I spent a day in
London nor Malaysia embassy, but I spent my big fat half day on foot.

In the context of losing my wallet, together with my IC and driving license,
I was advised to report to Malaysia embassy, I was planned to do so weeks ago,
but the forever procastinating police report hold my plan until today.
(Yes, I don't see any difference between police in Malaysia or UK,
in term of their effectiveness, so I guess I wont be so tempted to complaint
Malaysia police anymore.)

Anyway, I made my way to Malaysia embassy with a scibble map,
which later I find it quite useless then as it was too rough to get the way.
However, I took less than 20minutes to find out the right way
(in such a drizzly freezing weather 20minutes was not quick enough),
Having the Malaysia flat spotted is such delighting thing in this depressing morning.

In the Malaysia embassy, I smell, see and sense Malaysia,
the ambiance, the decoration, the language and the people
were all pieced up the picture of my home country.
One of the most significant thing is the small canteen
at the corner selling nasi lemak by "tudung" ladies,
and malay speaking person was crowded with cup of tea tarik each.
That's it the smell, picture and sound of Malaysia.

The thing I can't ignore was the time consuming process of any document
handled by them, which is persist perpetually no matter in Malaysia or UK,
maintaining their own personality is good huh?!

So, I was told to come back 3 hours later, its seem to be a long time to go,
but it was actually too long for me to stay in a coffee shop,
and too short to deal with my phone in China town. I was then decided
to have my phone unlock by today, hence mentally plus physically consesus
to pay a walk.

Instead of swaggering around I was striding the whole afternoon,
as my thrifty mind not allowed me to spend a sum of bus fare for just
reporting IC lost, which was so so so wasteful, I got to make it worth for
each pence I paid..

At the end of the day, I sat shiveringly on coach and waited for the
forever belated bus. The weather was getting atrocious, I was hoping
for a cup of hot pure dark chocolate (with hazelnut syrup without cream and milk)
to help me fight with the coldness and. Somehow I miss the humane sunlight in Malaysia.

Murmur

My friend was asking me why on earth I need to make my days so stress.
I'm not intend to do so, but pending task is killing me at the midle of night,
it wake me up so violently, just for that remaining 10% of work, sigh...
I'm wondering sleeping pill might has become a lure to me,
I would grab it without second though, if I're standing infront the "good night sleep"
shelf in Boots now, no matter it would cost a fortune.

All this is an assumption I'd made only at the middle of night with my eyes opened alert.
I manage to hold myself during daytime, cause sleeping pill and constipation pill,
resemble the side effect of drug, ur body might get addicted and consequently impair
your normal body function.. this is me I think so much before I take any action,
except buying cloth online and in TK maxx... hehehe XD (no harm to my health)

Anyway the problem will continue and nothing could ease me into a good night sleep,
before I print out my dissertation and bind it in the library and and and submit it.

Again, my friend asked me if sleepless night is all because of my dearest mate?
It is a good reason if it is. Since, he is coming over to my place this afternoon,
so if he is the sleeping pill that I need, tonight will be a restful night, phew~

p/s: I cant believe I've sleepless night for 3 consecutive weeks.. Buddha bless me.

How fun can life be?

I don't know how I capture this picture.
I was using my HTC Diamond, trying to capture the little cute jelly fish,
to show every of my friend that I saw jelly fish everyday.

But can you see the face immerse in the sea, maybe protrude from the sea level.
Look horrible, but amazing.

Life appear to received numerous unexpected incidents, we have to adapt and finally accept it.
I was doing really bad in adapting and accepting the fact. Time is in my hand.
I spend it in a extravagant way to ensure I'm comfort enough to get over.

Maybe I used up the limit and the time that I was allowed to use.
So, I've to accept another fact.

Fine day

The dining table in my house, this is my 5th time using this table since I moved in.

I had curry rice noodle tonight, it took me more than half an hour.

I planned to eat outside, but nothing seen to suit me, so I end up carried a bag of potatoes,
broccoli and reduced price broccoli. Followed the stony path that I loath to go through,
but it looks pretty cute today. Nothing seen to be so concern anymore.

I always take the candles as decoration, I will never light it.
Candle will be used only at a black-out night. A person careless like me,
have a very high probability of burning my house if I're using a candle.
In addition, I can accept candle that my mom offer to god, but not on my dining table.
Yea, I'm weird.

I was singing so loud, as though I was home alone.
Again, nobody would care even if I're mad, so do I.

People lives in group as well as individually.
I'm physically isolated but mentally live in group.

Thank you for all the companion.

赵之璧 - 快乐是自找的


快乐是自找的 不是你给我的

寂寞坦白了 谁说这样不道德

沉沦是必要的

上升是无聊的

爱情是附属的

寂寞太吵了

快乐太静了

忧郁太放了

幻觉是重要的

清醒是明天的

失去是宿命的

变成负数了

我就失速了

再也慢不下来了

让头发乱了

让我放肆的唱歌

快乐是自找的 不是你给我的

寂寞是可以坦白 谁说这不道德

我对自己诚实了

我对你也诚实了

是不是可以 留你这一刻

快乐是自找的 不是你给我的

寂寞是可以坦白 谁说这不道德

我对自己诚实了

我对你也诚实了

是不是可以 留你这一刻

幻觉是重要的

清醒是明天的

失去是宿命的

变成负数了

我就失速了

再也慢不下来了

让头发乱了

让我放肆的唱歌

快乐是自找的 不是你给我的

寂寞是可以坦白 谁说这不道德

我对自己诚实了

我对你也诚实了

是不是可以 留你这一刻

快乐是自找的 不是你给我的

寂寞是可以坦白 谁说这不道德

我对自己诚实了

我对你也诚实了

是不是可以 没有遗憾了

快乐是自找的 不是你给我的

寂寞是可以坦白 谁说这不道德

我对自己诚实了

我对你也诚实了

是不是可以 留你这一刻

快乐是自找的 不是你给我的

寂寞是可以坦白 谁说这不道德

我对自己诚实了

我对你也诚实了

是不是可以 没有遗憾了

快乐是自找的 不是你给我的

寂寞是可以坦白 谁说这不道德

我对自己诚实了

我对你也诚实了

是不是可以 留你这一刻

快乐是自找的 不是你给我的

寂寞是可以坦白 谁说这不道德

我对自己诚实了

我对你也诚实了

是不是可以 没有遗憾了

The song I listen whenever I strayed in misery.

Strayed me

I was bombarding with myself a lot of positive though.
 
I'm currently in a stage which is extremely unstable, I'm strayed.
Suprisingly, I'm glad that I'm being alone and staying in a place that nobody know me.
I can walk out with a haggard look, with head down or nose up,
I'm a stranger in this strange country.

I get to know I'm not eligible to apply euro rail pass, as I've been staying in europe country
for more than 6 months, according to the wedsite, we are considered as resident.
A non PR resident, how irony. I've nothing here.

Everything happened in the past is just an tiny incident, I can't tell the detail of it,
but the followed grief is killing me. It seen like, collecting sadness is one of my hobbies.
How on earth, I got this kind of chronic disease.

I though I had someone who constantly giving me fully support and help, and now I lost and lose it.
My friend said this could be a challenge to you, this sound so familiar, which I told someone few years ago,
life is a cycle, and finally this advice back to me.

We always know the theory, but the hardest thing is how to practice it.
Like my piano test, I score high in theory but lower in practical part, I'm always good in theory huh?!

As well dreaming in an idea world.

A conclusion that I made for myself

I said "Hold on" to her, then I turned my head to my house-mate who stand infront of me in my room.

I tried to solve the "problem" who whipped into my room, I gave her a short speech to sort her out.

Meanwhile, her sound kept conveying from another side of phone, I realised she was in her own world.

I was speaking to another person, the phone was so near to my mouth, I'm so sure she could heard it,

if she had paid attention. But like a radio, it'll never stop if you din press "stop" button.



Quickly I gave N an answer and let her off.

Back to the phone, I was upset with She'd never stopped to listen while I was speaking,

she stopped when she want to get a certain answer that she expected from me,

which I have no idea what it should be. If I got to know it, I'd love to speak out.

Life is demand and supply. I'd love to supply to reduce problem caused from over-demand.



She was right in some ways, but she'd forgotten we human being is living in a different way.

Yes, I'm being too pessimistic in my life and too sensitive when it involved people,

I don't post my bad part of my life in my blog, I'm supposed and definitely is a girl who own the world,

and I realised I have never growth up in the past few years of my life.



People can't have a suddent surge in mental maturation, just like Buddha doesn't upgraded to god in minutes.

Please allow me some times, I'm not a perfect creature, when I first face to some sort of problem,

I'll have frustrated, depressed or even upset. Then slowly I have to accept the fact and adapt it.

Finally, I have specified antibody to its, I'd say I'm applying specified immune system.

Which required antigent to create memory to immune system, means I need to experience it to create resistance.



Yes, I do repeating this feeling again and again,but this doesn't prove I'm repeating the problem.

You might think I'm argueing with you with some crap.Because I failed to manage my own emotion
when I met someone, so I'm learning how to deal with them, getting used to this "norm" (a norm to them),

and becoming adaptive to every kind of situation. I'm still not generous enough to accept all the "fact",

but growing up doesn't mean you have the capacity to face every problem.

Growth up allow you to think wider than from your own shallow perspective, with this deliberate though,

you could help yourself on get through all the hurdles (in term of EQ). However, you might fail to manage it.

Because, the inbuild capacity is not high enough to hold all of it, my brain lag and my emotion spurt.

I'd say I failed to manage it in reality but mentally I understand this "norm".



How to increase my capacity??

My mate will look after me and expose me to this polluted society, train me to stand steady and calm.



I'm appreciate my mate called me up at the right time, so I got some time to breath.

I spoke out all the things to him again, he clear my mind, and I have a good sleep that night, after i hung up.



I appreciate all the people who approached me and tell me all the truth.

I'll manage my emotion bit by bit, hopefully, I can be a 80% cheerful person.

(100% will be a crazy person)

Good day, cold day in sheffield

I arrived Sheffield last night, met few weirdos with unzip pants.

I sneak away with calm, I always look no fear when I'm alone,

"nothing can scare you" whispering into my ears.

I'm not that bravery, but expose your nervous is not helping.



This few days, I keep straying back to the time in Malaysia.

How good it will be if I manage to go home now,

but it could be worst if I're still staying in Malaysia now.

No point to think about chicken or egg came first. Get real.



So, I'm now sitting in Sheffield University's library,

my hand is almost frozen, and my stomach is growling,

cold and hungry is the scene in THE LITTLE MATCH GIRL.

I've never expect the weather of sheffield can be so cold,

and didn't get to know cafeteria is closed during summer.



My cloths is too thin to warm myself even in library,

I wish to have toast and egg scrumble for breakfast,

I wish to reward them a pair of wings or legs,

so they could fly or walk along the street to my mouth.

Again, I've some sort of illusion of being fed by mobilised toast and eggs.

ha...........



It wont come if I don't pay a walk.



Well, I really feel well in Sheffield.

I gonna manipulate my lower limbs to walk and upper limbs to grab food now.

Ok, will update my ordinary but immersed in a speck of joylliness life soon.



After my presentation, Emergency party is needed!

Good luck to myself!